The 2 Arrows of Pain & Suffering

A Discussion on Reactions to Adversity.

For the past three months, I have been healing from a frustrating back injury. My self-care routines of weight lifting and running have been removed due to this injury, and it has been heavy on my mind for what feels like every minute of every day. When will I be able to go to the gym again? Will I be able to run soon? Will my clients be distracted by my constant repositioning in my chair trying to alleviate my pain?

I’ve been feeling discouraged, sad, frustrated, and obsessed with this injury. I notice my body changing and sometimes feel I am losing hope to regain the physical progress I worked hard for.

I was speaking with my partner about how important it is to be mindful of physical pain in order to avoid perpetuating it, and how it’s difficult not to constantly think about it. This conversation stayed with me, leading me to reflect on how my mental state is affecting my injury.

While rereading one of my favorite books on meditation, The Wakeful Body, I was reminded of an analogy that the Buddha discussed in his teachings: the concept of the two arrows (Baker, 42). The first arrow represents pain—an inevitable human experience that comes at us in life, often beyond our control. The second arrow represents suffering—the reaction we have to the first arrow that we essentially inflict on ourselves.

I realized how powerful and true this analogy is, both for myself and for many people. We are handed adversity, and we have a choice in how we approach it. We can ruminate on our pain, whether physical or mental, thus perpetuating our suffering, and allow our pain to consume us. Or, we can accept the pain as it is, it in the moment, rather than obsessing over it or anticipating continuous pain.

As a therapist, I am very aware of the impact stress has on physical well-being, something I often discuss with the people I work with. I’m beginning to notice how I’ve allowed my second arrow to inflict more pain and delay healing myself.

I feel inspired by this analogy of the two arrows, knowing that it has existed for thousands of years and that it’s part of the human condition to inflict suffering on ourselves. I feel empowered by the reminder of how much choice I have regarding the anxiety of self inflicted suffering. I needed this reminder to ask myself, “are these thoughts helpful?” I feel motivated to acknowledge my fear of pain with kindness and compassion.

It’s in our DNA to try and solve what is wrong with us. For me, my back injury is the current "problem" I’m trying to solve. But I’ve come to realize that it’s up to me to accept that this pain does not need to be solved right now. It is my reality, and it’s my choice to limit the mental and physical impact the second arrow has on me. I have recognized the second arrow, and I feel like I may be on my way to pulling it out.

My hope is this conversation may plant a reflective thought for someone to ask themselves in which ways they may be inflicting a second arrow. Perhaps it’s time to consider working towards pulling it out.

• For More Information:

  Baker, W. B. (2021). The Wakeful Body-Somatic Mindfulness as a Path to Freedom. Shambhala

Improving Sleep: 6 Simple, Science-Backed Habits That Help

As someone who has struggled with insomnia throughout my life, I’ve constantly searched for ways to improve the quality of my sleep. Through years of trial and error—and learning the why behind certain habits through my education—I’ve successfully increased the amount of sleep I get and reduced how often I wake up during the night.

During my studies, I was introduced to the concept of sleep hygiene. Sleep hygiene refers to a set of habits that promote better sleep. Below are some scientifically backed strategies I’ve personally found helpful in improving my sleep hygiene:

1. Morning Sunlight

Let’s start at the beginning of the day. Within the first hour of waking, it's important to expose ourselves to direct sunlight for 10 to 15 minutes. This does not mean staring directly into the sun, rather being outside, without sunglasses on, in the direction of the sun, is the ideal amount of exposure. Sunlight is absorbed through our eyes and recognized by the hypothalamus, the part of the brain that serves as the messenger between the body and mind. This exposure helps regulate our melatonin production and cortisol levels, which together support a balanced circadian rhythm—our natural sleep-wake cycle. Over time, this can significantly improve sleep quality.

2. Delayed Caffeine Intake

For many people, it’s a ritual to sip coffee or tea first thing in the morning. However, doing so might be interfering with your sleep. Caffeine works by blocking adenosine, a natural neurotransmitter that promotes relaxation and sleepiness. This disrupts the natural balance of brain chemicals and can throw off your circadian rhythm. By delaying caffeine intake by about 90 minutes after waking, you give your body time to naturally regulate itself, leading to better daytime functioning and higher-quality sleep at night.

3. Meditation

One of the most effective ways to relax both body and mind is through meditation. Throughout the day, our minds are often racing, and this mental activity can follow us into the night, making it harder to fall asleep. We also carry tension in our bodies that we may not even be aware of. Practicing meditation—particularly before bed—helps create a sense of presence and calm. I recommend body scan meditations, which guide you through observing physical sensations and releasing tension from the body and mind. Here’s a link to one of my favorites.

4. Reducing Screen Time Before Bed

Limiting screen time before bed has been shown to significantly improve sleep quality. The blue light emitted from devices can suppress melatonin production and increase anxiety, making it harder to fall asleep. Try to avoid screens—including phones and TVs—for at least 20 minutes before bedtime. Instead, opt for calming, non-stimulating activities like reading a book or listening to calming music.

5. Reserve the Bed for Sleep

Many people use their beds for everything—watching TV, eating, reading, scrolling on their phones, even working. This creates an association between the bed and wakefulness. Instead, aim to reserve your bed for just sleep. This helps train your brain to associate the bed with rest and relaxation, making it easier to fall asleep when your head hits the pillow.

6. Journaling

I’m a huge fan of journaling, especially before bed. The beauty of journaling is that there’s no “right” or “wrong” way to do it. Writing down your thoughts—whether they’re about the day you had, what’s on your mind, or worries about tomorrow—helps release mental clutter. It gives your brain a sense of closure, making it easier to relax.

I encourage people to end their journal entries with three positive contributions they made that day. These don’t need to be big accomplishments. Something as simple as “I fed my dog,” “I washed the dishes,” “I exercised,” or “I talked to a friend” works. Ending with positive reflections has been shown to reduce stress, depression, and anxiety.

Improving sleep is a journey, not a one-size-fits-all solution. But with consistent effort and the right tools, quality sleep becomes much more attainable. I hope some of these tips help you the way they’ve helped me!

• For More Information On These Tools:

  Morning Sunlight Benefits/Reduce Screen Time Before Bed

  Benefits of Delayed Coffee Intake

  Meditation Before Bed

  Dedicating Bed For Sleep

  Journaling For Imrpoved Sleep