The 2 Arrows of Pain & Suffering
A Discussion on Reactions to Adversity.
For the past three months, I have been healing from a frustrating back injury. My self-care routines of weight lifting and running have been removed due to this injury, and it has been heavy on my mind for what feels like every minute of every day. When will I be able to go to the gym again? Will I be able to run soon? Will my clients be distracted by my constant repositioning in my chair trying to alleviate my pain?
I’ve been feeling discouraged, sad, frustrated, and obsessed with this injury. I notice my body changing and sometimes feel I am losing hope to regain the physical progress I worked hard for.
I was speaking with my partner about how important it is to be mindful of physical pain in order to avoid perpetuating it, and how it’s difficult not to constantly think about it. This conversation stayed with me, leading me to reflect on how my mental state is affecting my injury.
While rereading one of my favorite books on meditation, The Wakeful Body, I was reminded of an analogy that the Buddha discussed in his teachings: the concept of the two arrows (Baker, 42). The first arrow represents pain—an inevitable human experience that comes at us in life, often beyond our control. The second arrow represents suffering—the reaction we have to the first arrow that we essentially inflict on ourselves.
I realized how powerful and true this analogy is, both for myself and for many people. We are handed adversity, and we have a choice in how we approach it. We can ruminate on our pain, whether physical or mental, thus perpetuating our suffering, and allow our pain to consume us. Or, we can accept the pain as it is, it in the moment, rather than obsessing over it or anticipating continuous pain.
As a therapist, I am very aware of the impact stress has on physical well-being, something I often discuss with the people I work with. I’m beginning to notice how I’ve allowed my second arrow to inflict more pain and delay healing myself.
I feel inspired by this analogy of the two arrows, knowing that it has existed for thousands of years and that it’s part of the human condition to inflict suffering on ourselves. I feel empowered by the reminder of how much choice I have regarding the anxiety of self inflicted suffering. I needed this reminder to ask myself, “are these thoughts helpful?” I feel motivated to acknowledge my fear of pain with kindness and compassion.
It’s in our DNA to try and solve what is wrong with us. For me, my back injury is the current "problem" I’m trying to solve. But I’ve come to realize that it’s up to me to accept that this pain does not need to be solved right now. It is my reality, and it’s my choice to limit the mental and physical impact the second arrow has on me. I have recognized the second arrow, and I feel like I may be on my way to pulling it out.
My hope is this conversation may plant a reflective thought for someone to ask themselves in which ways they may be inflicting a second arrow. Perhaps it’s time to consider working towards pulling it out.
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Baker, W. B. (2021). The Wakeful Body-Somatic Mindfulness as a Path to Freedom. Shambhala